So, I figure no one will see these two posts for another couple of months. We lost the baby yesterday. By my calculations, I was about 5 weeks and 2 days. And we're actually doing really well. The shock and disappointment was really hard at first, and plenty of tears were shed, but I feel that we got a lot out of the experience. My biggest fear was always that I wouldn't be able to conceive naturally, so the fact that it happened without us really trying is a huge win in my book. There's plenty of time for it to happen again and we are both looking forward to the next time.
I obviously won't be writing in here until the next time comes around, and I won't be telling anyone about this until we get a baby that sticks, but I felt I needed to kind of sign off on my first post, and it didn't seem fair to delete it. The whole first experience of being pregnant was exciting and the fact that we lost it shouldn't ruin that feeling.
So until then, we'll be on hold. :)
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
The Beginning
I'm not much of a phone talker so when we found out that we were pregnant, I figured writing everything down would be a good way to share all of our experiences. So, here we go.
I took my first HPT (home pregnancy test) on Saturday, May 29th, 2010. It was one of those free, cheap dip sticks you can get off websites. Even though there was some evidence that I was pregnant (such as my temperature rising that morning instead of dropping like it normally does), when those two lines showed up on the test I really didn't believe it. So I figured I'd show it to the color-blind guy just to make sure I wasn't seeing things. Then I still didn't believe it after Josh said he could see the two lines. I figured it had to be a mistake. Poor Josh, then next two days I was on a see-saw. "I'm pregnant!" "There's no way, I'm not pregnant." I finally decided on Monday, May 31st, 2010, that I'd take another HPT. At this point, I didn't really need the test since I had continued taking my temperatures, but you just don't get the same feeling by looking at a chart that you do by peeing on a stick. I took a digital test and sure enough, it said pregnant. We were both so excited! Some of the first words out of my mouth were "OMG we're pregnant! ... How do you celebrate without wine???" (Josh's answer was cake.)
Monday turned out to be a very difficult day, for both of us, I think. While we were both ecstatic about being pregnant, it was Memorial Day and we had a family gathering to go to. I had only accepted the fact that we were pregnant for about four hours before we had to go to the party, and four hours is not enough time to decide when we should tell everyone our news! (I say that I had only accepted it for four hours because I found out later that Josh believed the first positive pregnancy test on Saturday, so he was just waiting for me to get on board.) We decided to not tell anyone yet until we had more time to think about it, but I was ready to burst, I wanted to tell someone so bad!
So, that night we decided we'd tell just our immediate families. We went over to my parents first, gave them the big news. And after a little bit of confusion on Tuesday, we ended up at Josh's parents house to tell them. (Don't worry, we had also called Nick that afternoon!) I think I can confidently say that everyone is incredibly excited. :)
As of now, I haven't made any doctors appointments yet. Since Josh and I just changed jobs (Josh is at U-M Hospital in Ann Arbor and I'm at Complete Rehabilitation in Warren), we hadn't made any decisions about our health insurance before getting pregnant. So we made that decision on Monday and now we're waiting for everything to go through. And as luck would have it, my current OB has decided not to deliver anymore. So I'm just taking my time researching doctors in the area and trying to figure out who to go with.
So far I'm feeling good about everything. I really expected to freak out when this happened, and so far I'm feeling pretty balanced. I don't really have many symptoms yet, which I consider to be a good thing. Every now and then I get a little nauseous, but haven't been throwing up. I have been fairly tired, but it doesn't bother me too much if I can't lay down at all. I just end up yawning all day if I can't get a nap in.
And of course, the thing that I'm sure most will want to know, according to my own calculations, my due date is around February 8th, 2011. It may change when I finally go to the doctor, but for right now, I'll believe that I'm just barely over 4 weeks pregnant. :)
Thanks for reading - I'll try to update soon.
Love to all,
Nicole & Josh
I took my first HPT (home pregnancy test) on Saturday, May 29th, 2010. It was one of those free, cheap dip sticks you can get off websites. Even though there was some evidence that I was pregnant (such as my temperature rising that morning instead of dropping like it normally does), when those two lines showed up on the test I really didn't believe it. So I figured I'd show it to the color-blind guy just to make sure I wasn't seeing things. Then I still didn't believe it after Josh said he could see the two lines. I figured it had to be a mistake. Poor Josh, then next two days I was on a see-saw. "I'm pregnant!" "There's no way, I'm not pregnant." I finally decided on Monday, May 31st, 2010, that I'd take another HPT. At this point, I didn't really need the test since I had continued taking my temperatures, but you just don't get the same feeling by looking at a chart that you do by peeing on a stick. I took a digital test and sure enough, it said pregnant. We were both so excited! Some of the first words out of my mouth were "OMG we're pregnant! ... How do you celebrate without wine???" (Josh's answer was cake.)
Monday turned out to be a very difficult day, for both of us, I think. While we were both ecstatic about being pregnant, it was Memorial Day and we had a family gathering to go to. I had only accepted the fact that we were pregnant for about four hours before we had to go to the party, and four hours is not enough time to decide when we should tell everyone our news! (I say that I had only accepted it for four hours because I found out later that Josh believed the first positive pregnancy test on Saturday, so he was just waiting for me to get on board.) We decided to not tell anyone yet until we had more time to think about it, but I was ready to burst, I wanted to tell someone so bad!
So, that night we decided we'd tell just our immediate families. We went over to my parents first, gave them the big news. And after a little bit of confusion on Tuesday, we ended up at Josh's parents house to tell them. (Don't worry, we had also called Nick that afternoon!) I think I can confidently say that everyone is incredibly excited. :)
As of now, I haven't made any doctors appointments yet. Since Josh and I just changed jobs (Josh is at U-M Hospital in Ann Arbor and I'm at Complete Rehabilitation in Warren), we hadn't made any decisions about our health insurance before getting pregnant. So we made that decision on Monday and now we're waiting for everything to go through. And as luck would have it, my current OB has decided not to deliver anymore. So I'm just taking my time researching doctors in the area and trying to figure out who to go with.
So far I'm feeling good about everything. I really expected to freak out when this happened, and so far I'm feeling pretty balanced. I don't really have many symptoms yet, which I consider to be a good thing. Every now and then I get a little nauseous, but haven't been throwing up. I have been fairly tired, but it doesn't bother me too much if I can't lay down at all. I just end up yawning all day if I can't get a nap in.
And of course, the thing that I'm sure most will want to know, according to my own calculations, my due date is around February 8th, 2011. It may change when I finally go to the doctor, but for right now, I'll believe that I'm just barely over 4 weeks pregnant. :)
Thanks for reading - I'll try to update soon.
Love to all,
Nicole & Josh
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)