Pregnancy #8

I know, I'm terrible at giving updates on our lives. I do apologize, but time certainly does get away from me. Following our terrible loss back in March, Josh and I really started focusing on God. Looking back at everything, He is even more good than I could have ever imagined. Going back to that post (Read it here), let me give a little update before getting to the pregnancy.

I did get the chance to start a support group for women going through loss. There may only be 3 of us right now, but without Relate Church, it would just be me trying to figure out what to do. The more I meet with these women, the bigger my dreams are becoming in what we can accomplish. I am really excited to see how everything unfolds.

Shortly after my surgery, Josh and I decided to jump all in and fully give 10% back to Relate. We had been giving a good portion (like, 7%) but the penny pincher in me said "No, no way, we can't do it!" The amazing thing about it all... Wonderful things started happening for us once we started tithing. I still don't understand how it's been happening, but God has truly been blessing our 90%... To the point that we were able to purchase a home that I thought there was no way we would be able to swing. We really couldn't be happier. We have way more house than we need at the moment, but we've got BIG plans for it.

Josh's job is definitely getting busier, and they have hired someone who starts next week.. And they'll be hiring more around the end of the year (I think that's the time frame, but I know it's changing). As far as my Mary Kay goes, I do believe it'll be getting off the ground soon. At least I'm praying it will be. ;)

Which leads us back to the pregnancy. You know how you have a "plan" and you're all excited because you can see life working out the way you always dreamed it would? And then God looks at your plan and says "Nope, nice try.. We're going to do it this way instead." Well, that's what happened here.

Shortly after Josh's sister got married, I was really struggling being on birth control (something we decided to try for a few months until we got the medical bills organized). Josh and I weren't fully seeing eye to eye on the situation (more because I was struggling to lay out the logical reasons instead of the emotional reasons), and I really just started praying for an answer. Was I supposed to be on this or not? The answer I got was mind blowing. I got this beautiful vision one night while I was sleeping. Without boring you with all the details, Josh and I were sitting in bed with Jack between us, and each of us holding a baby. Twins. Boy/girl twins. I tell you, I can still see them clearly when I think back to this. This was God just telling me to trust him. It took me a day or two to tell Josh, because at the time it was so overwhelming. In the end, he was okay with the decision and even got a little confirmation himself on the situation. So, off the birth control I went. And there was no anxiety, no moments of "I must be pregnant" or moments of disappointment. Looking back, I was amazed at myself. I never took a pregnancy test to even "make sure" I wasn't pregnant (and I did that A TON.. Just ask Josh).

So, during this time, we just lived. Then September crept up and Josh and I were looking at our health insurance options. Long story short, the increase in premiums were going up too high, so Jack and I were going off Josh's plan and going to get our own plan. Only problem? There would be a three month gap where we wouldn't have insurance. Toward the end of the month, before we lost insurance, Josh said to me "Now, you're only job is to not get pregnant!". Of course I just laughed.

It was a few days later that I had a second vision come to me, only this time I wasn't sleeping. And I'm telling you, it still weirds me out a bit. At the top of our staircase we have a loft. I was sitting on the floor trying to urge Jack to move faster as I needed to get him dressed. So I'm yelling down the stairs "C'mon, Jackson, it's time to go!". All of a sudden his little head pops up into my line of vision, except he's no longer 3. He's about 6 and I can hear myself yelling "Jackson, you need to slow down! You're going to knock your sister down the stairs!". I think my heart stopped for a moment after that.

Here's the thing about our current baby plans... We don't have any. Not that we don't want more children (clearly we do), but we've realized we've kept trying to push something that we weren't really ready for. So we were just letting the situation rest in God's hands, knowing that when the time was right, He would give it to us. So October 1st, Jack and I lost insurance. October 2nd I started feeling "off". I really thought I was being over sensitive. Like, c'mon Nicole, you just lost health insurance, of course you're going to wonder if you're pregnant. It's terrible timing! I looked at my calendar. The only way we would have conceived was if I had, in some crazy, unbelievable way, ovulated like a "normal" woman on day 14. Let me tell you something people, I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). I don't just ovulate on day 14. In my entire life, this has NEVER happened! If I'm lucky, day 18, but DEFINITELY NOT day 14.

I'm going to go ahead and guess you already know what I'm going to say. On October 3rd, I went and bought a pregnancy test because I absolutely COULD NOT get it out of my head. And I'm pretty sure Josh thought I was crazy. But I took the test immediately when I got home.. And it was positive. I had ovulated early (for me). This wasn't just some fluke. This was the work of God. He has blessed us more than we deserve and we are so thankful for it, there really aren't enough words.

So here we are. I'm 8 weeks pregnant, and everything looks BEAUTIFUL. I've had two doctors appointments (and they're being wonderful and working with me and my lack of insurance) and one ultrasound. My ultrasound was this past Thursday and the baby (yes, just ONE!) was measuring right on schedule and had a very strong heartbeat of 158. We feel confident that this baby is here to stay, and yes, my gut is still saying it's a girl! But we'll find that out in June! ;)

So that's it.. That's how we got here. Continued prayers are appreciated as we're not completely "out of the woods" yet, but we're holding on tightly to Jesus and know that His plans for us are already laid out and that they are plans for GOOD.